Column
‘Am I the Asshole?’ Reveals America’s Sexist Underbelly
One of the most thorough looks at gender inequality can be found on a Reddit forum
If you want to know about the gendered domestic divide in American households, there are plenty of books to read, studies to peruse, and women’s stories — exponentially more of them since the pandemic started — to hear out. But the most fascinating look at inequality at home, and within heterosexual relationships more broadly, doesn’t come from traditional sources; it’s hiding in plain sight, on a Reddit forum called “Am I The Asshole.”
AITA, as it’s also known, is a place where people post about a particular conflict and ask readers for an objective opinion on whether or not they’re, well, an asshole. The situations are usually benign: someone wanting reassurance that they’re not wrong to cut off a toxic relative, or seeking validation after taking a mistreated animal away from a friend.
When it comes to relationships, however, and the way that men treat the women in their lives, things get pretty toxic. It’s a microcosm of gendered entitlement — the story of American sexism, told post by post. There’s the guy furious with his girlfriend for dressing up for a work Zoom (because how dare she look nice for anyone but him); the…
