Applauding the Heroes Tracking Covid Outbreaks Through Sewage
Thank you for looking through my poop
I cried when I got my first Covid vaccine. Not because of the pain, which I didn’t even notice and totally handled like a tough guy. I cried because geniuses worked insane hours to put an end to the pandemic, while I had written a story about Zoom shirts.
When I found out that people are testing sewage to detect Omicron in our feces, I didn’t cry. I did a lot of gagging. But, as they say, gagging is the crying of the stomach. I gagged out of gratitude that geniuses discovered an accurate, faster method of measuring viral spread. After all, even those who don’t get Covid tests go to the bathroom. Though I’m guessing that when they learn about this sewage testing program, a sizable group will fight for their freedom from poop surveillance. If you thought spitting on an Uber driver to protest mask requirements was unpleasant, prepare for something far worse.
Hunting through poop for a contagious deadly disease seemed like something we should be opening our windows and applauding for. Or perhaps closing windows to keep the odors away and applauding extra loudly to make up for it.
Since we weren’t doing either, I offered to give my thanks in person. The Los Angeles County Sanitation Districts, however…
