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How to Meditate in an Uber
A comical guide to making your rideshare a zen sanctuary
Put your valuable time in a rideshare to good use by practicing mindfulness, simply by disregarding cleanliness, timeliness, strangeness, car-sickness, and consciousness!
Start by settling into the backseat. Let your hands hang loosely by your side, gently placing the palms upward on a surface that has cushioned at least a thousand asses.
Keep your back straight, tilt your head down slightly, and relax your body, forgetting your entire life rests in the hands of an absolute stranger.
To be completely present, turn your phone on silent, and set it down next to the mystery upholstery stain on the middle seat.
Make sure your feet are pressed into the floorboard, near the large, half-smushed box of Kleenex, and begin to tune out your driver’s Christian rock playlist.
Check in with yourself. How are you feeling? If you could assign your body an Uber rating right now, is it: “5 stars”? Or is it: “Report a problem”?
Close your eyes, especially if the driver has looked at you even once in the rearview mirror, which should be illegal in some states.
Turn your full attention to your breath. Breathe normally, through your nose, letting…
