Member-only story
In Praise of Cold-Calling Your Friends
Nearly a year into the pandemic, these unexpected chats are my greatest joy
A friend who I am very fond of but don’t necessarily keep in regular touch with recently emailed me on a bcc-ed list with the subject line, “Your Birthdays — I need em.” She was asking for people’s birthdays and mailing addresses to add to her calendar. It was a nice gesture during trying times, so I thought I’d return the favor in a way that some might describe as maniacal: I called her up out of the blue.
When my friend picked up, I explained that I was calling her in response to her email and read out my birthday — July [redacted] — and my mailing address. She told me she hated me for cold-calling her on a random weekday instead of just emailing her back, but then we had a nice chat for an hour or so. The spontaneity was thrilling. We live in the same city but in different boroughs and haven’t seen each other in over a year. While we’ve texted and messaged each other, a casual phone conversation allowed us to joke around the way that we used to do in person.
A big part of it was the unexpectedness (I called unthinkingly, without knowing if she’d pick up), which feels rare in a time when everything must be meticulously planned and considered. It felt like I had run into her at Aritzia (on Fifth Avenue…
