Prison Stories
Loving My Autistic Son
The overwhelming prospect of parenting a special needs child from prison
I opened my eyes to see my son staring at my face. I smiled, and we started our morning ritual. First, I would say “I love you” in my normal tone. He would do the same. Then I would say it again, only louder this time, shouting. Again, he would do the same. Lastly, we would end our “I love yous” in a gentle whisper, a declaration between father and son that was only for us to hear. As always, it ended with me laughing and holding him tight.
My son, Jeziah, couldn’t speak fluently yet when we would hold our little ritual. He was diagnosed with autism as a toddler, and communication was still hard for him. But in those morning sessions, we spoke volumes with just three little words. I needed him to know I loved him, and those moments made me feel like we were connected by more than just blood. We were connected by the bond of love that we shared.
I think about that ritual often now as I sit in jail, serving a four-year sentence for assault and battery, separated from my son. The challenge of trying to parent a child while incarcerated is a frustration that few on the outside can understand. Just knowing that I can’t make him breakfast, take him to school, or wipe his tears is…
