I Have Watched Coronavirus Porn and It Involves Lots of Purell
A quick and dirty survey of pandemic porn
Pornography is a form of escapism, so you’d think the last genre anyone would want to watch would be “coronavirus porn.” That would make as much sense as Corona beer sales going up this year — which they are.
As of March 23, searching “coronavirus” on Pornhub delivered more than 1,000 videos. Users on the site started punching in the search term on January 25. Since then, nearly 10 million have looked for coronavirus porn.
Coronavirus porn videos are all homemade because no one is going into an office, especially one as unsanitary as a porn set. There are so many coronavirus porn videos there are already four subgenres: apocalyptic horror, quarantine boredom, public service announcements, and “videos that have nothing to do with coronavirus but hope to get clicks by mentioning it in the title.” For instance, “Corona Virus Quarantine Gamer Girl St Patrick’s Day Blowjob.”
The apocalyptic horror videos are hard to watch — goth makeup and gas masks are popular. But many are scary in a different way. They belong to the “Last Man on Earth” category, in which couples have sex in some eerily abandoned public space: on a subway, or on top of an abandoned building onto which they’ve graffitied…