Please, Make America Boring Again, I Beg of You
Your Midwest correspondent is ready for a plate of fries and for this all to be over
Hello, I’m Lyz Lenz, and I am sitting in a hotel in Des Moines, Iowa at the election night headquarters for Democrat Theresa Greenfield, who is challenging Republican incumbent Sen. Joni Ernst.
I covered the caucuses here in Iowa and accurately predicted that they would be a nightmare. Like the Cassandra of Corn, I screamed about the caucuses until absolutely everyone was sick of me.
I also learned other things, and one takeaway I learned early on, even before the pandemic, was that Americans are exhausted and afraid. They want to cling to the safest candidate possible. For Iowans, that apparently meant “undecided”, who at the time, was polling the highest in the Democratic caucuses. Then, I wrote:
Right now, it’s undecided who is winning the caucuses, polling at 45% according to the Des Moines Register. Undecided hasn’t polled this well since 1976, when he won the caucuses, beating out Jimmy Carter. Undecided is a candidate who hegdes. He’s a man who thinks women aren’t electable. He’s a candidate who worries we are alienating the “businesses” and maybe…
