Please, Make America Boring Again, I Beg of You

Your Midwest correspondent is ready for a plate of fries and for this all to be over

Hello, I’m Lyz Lenz, and I am sitting in a hotel in Des Moines, Iowa at the election night headquarters for Democrat Theresa Greenfield, who is challenging Republican incumbent Sen. Joni Ernst.

I covered the caucuses here in Iowa and accurately predicted that they would be a nightmare. Like the Cassandra of Corn, I screamed about the caucuses until absolutely everyone was sick of me.