Jessica Valenti

‘Rejection Killings’ Need to Be Tracked

Two more women died this week after saying no

Jessica Valenti
GEN
Published in
3 min readNov 21, 2018

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Photo: Daniel Butowski/Getty

Two women were killed this week because they had the temerity to say no to men.

Tamara O’Neal, a doctor at Chicago’s Mercy Hospital, was murdered by her former fiance; Dr. O’Neal had recently called off the engagement. Aisha Fraser was waiting for her divorce to be finalized when her estranged husband stabbed her to death — Fraser’s 8- and 11-year old daughters watched their mother die.

These crimes weren’t only domestic violence murders: they were rejection killings — a term I use to describe attacks by men furious with the women who deny them. Events like these — where women with abusive partners are killed when they are trying to leave the relationship, or have already left — have become sickeningly familiar in the United States.

Despite the rise of explicitly misogynist crimes and the increased attention on women’s issues, there’s no comprehensive tracking mechanism for rejection violence and rejection killings. Instead, it’s just story after tragic story.

There’s a reason that women give out fake phone numbers or invent boyfriends.

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Jessica Valenti
GEN
Writer for

Feminist author & columnist. Native NYer, pasta enthusiast.