Column

Sexism Reddit Is an Unexpected Beacon of Hope in Our Cold World

The oddly effective catharsis of reading about someone else’s bad relationship

Jessica Valenti
GEN
Published in
3 min readSep 4, 2019

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A photo illustration of the Reddit logo, displayed on a mobile phone.
Photo: Rafael Henrique/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty

BBefore I go to sleep at night — after spending the day writing about women’s rights, sexual assault, and misogyny — I like to scroll through Reddit’s advice forums and read about the weird ways sexism pops up in people’s lives.

The 29-year-old man who demands that his girlfriend sleep in uncomfortable lingerie because run-of-the mill pajamas make him feel “sick to his stomach.” The boyfriend who wants to reschedule a vacation in order to avoid his partner’s period. The woman who is desperate for her 27-year-old boyfriend to stop farting in her face. The 25-year-old who wants his fiance to undergo a gynecological virginity test the night before their wedding… performed and attended by his own dad, brothers, and uncle.

Unlike most cases of terrible misogyny in the United States — issues that have no easy answers or quick fixes — there is a solution when a guy is acting like an absolute piece of shit in his relationship.

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Jessica Valenti
GEN
Writer for

Feminist author & columnist. Native NYer, pasta enthusiast. I write about abortion every day at abortioneveryday.com