Sign in

What matters now. A publication from Medium about politics, power, and culture.

Love Hate

In GEN. More on Medium.


A relationship between a Luddite and an early adopter can come with unique problems

Shortly after I began dating the man who would become my husband, I left my flip phone in the back seat of a cab. The next day, my iPod broke. This was in 2011, a time when it felt natural to get music from one device and texts from another, so I planned on replacing both. But my boyfriend was having none of it: It’s time to get an iPhone, he said. Though I’d resisted the device for years (who needed all those features?), his argument made sense, and I agreed. …


My search for a better way to detect breast cancer

I parted my hospital robe and carefully propped my right breast onto a chilly shelf, pressing my ribs against the mammography machine. I inhaled slowly, trying to relax. As the plates pressed down, my breath stopped, and my eyes watered.

We would never do this to a man’s balls, I thought, once the tortilla press released my breast. We can send men to the moon, but we can’t create a better way to find breast cancer?

Ask any radiologist and they will tell you that the mammogram is the gold standard for detecting breast cancer. That’s largely because of the…


The internet mogul was vilified for destroying journalism. Now he’s setting out to save it.

There was hay here once. Horses, coachmen. Carriages were stored one room over. But that was a long time ago, before this house in lower Manhattan was even on the market, before the construction workers arrived, before the limestone tile for an adjoining hallway was cut, before the hayloft was removed to make room for a spiral staircase and more bookshelves. Before it became the two-story personal library of an unassuming internet mogul. Before Craig.

Yes, that Craig. The Craig of online classifieds fame, the Craig of Craigslist, the unmistakable character of late ’90s internet disruption: squat, bespectacled, flecks of…


I’d never considered a future where a pod was out of reach. Moving to Barcelona changed that.

The nicotine is everywhere, and I am assailed on all sides. Hip Catalan separatists in jean cutoffs smoking their rollies, their tobacco laughter echoing up the cracked façades of this narrow Barcelona street and into my open window. The old lady in the apartment across the street from mine hanging up sopping clothes on the strung wires, a cigarette dangling from her lips, her morning routine occasionally interrupted when her body seizes and her rheumy coughs ring out. The construction workers grunting in my building’s hallway, the smoke from their cigarettes creeping under my door and rising in tantalizing curls.


Researchers are developing programs that promise to teach people how to be better

By now, the news cycle is familiar: The United States is using tear gas on asylum seekers. Hundreds of migrant children remain separated from their families. A professor’s office is vandalized with anti-Semitic graffiti.

It’s easy to feel like we’re living in a social climate increasingly unconcerned with the suffering of others. A frequently cited 2009 study suggests that people may be getting less empathetic over time, and as politics, current affairs, and rhetoric fuel anger and polarization, it can certainly seem like we’re becoming a less compassionate society.

Can that change?

There are a lot of factors, including wealth


The weirdness of dating as a young feminist woman in America

“Dating is super weird,” Amelia*, a 25-year-old Barnard College graduate who’s partial to the phrase “men are trash,” tells me. “I loathe it, but I don’t know if I hate it because I’m looking for a specific type of person who’s not that common — because I want a feminist man — or if everyone hates it, and we’re all fighting an uphill battle.”

Dating has always been, and will forever be, weird. But dating — and life — as a young woman in America is particularly fraught; a study in extremes. On the plus side, in this era of…


In a new book, scholars unpack the idea of anti-fandom, from ‘Star Wars’ to Martha Stewart to Hillary Clinton

In case you didn’t notice, people seem pretty angry lately. There’s the vitriol you see printed on T-shirts and chanted at Trump rallies and the “Can you believe he said that?” tweets and “I know!” replies. There was the torrent of abuse poured on Leslie Jones and the cast of Ghostbusters when the female-led remake came out and the heated resentment aimed at the Star Wars team for featuring Kelly Marie Tran, an Asian-American actor, in The Last Jedi. There are the people meme-ing Tom Brady kissing his son on the lips and the people who are still burning effigies…


Screen time can provide a sense of emotional stability

When my oldest son was six or seven, I was newly divorced and trying to manage the unfamiliar logistics of joint custody. Family life was chaotic. Our daily routines were in flux. But my son found comfort in his Nintendo DS. Perhaps it’s because video games are predictable and the rules are always consistent. He clung to that device, throwing temper tantrums if we forgot it during the changeover between my house and his mother’s. Even when he wasn’t playing, he insisted that it always be within arm’s reach. It became his “transitional object.”

Pediatrician and psychoanalyst D. W. Winnicott…


Should I have spoken up when my teammates used that word?

Man, I was tired. Tired from running up and down soccer fields in Poughkeepsie like a madman, chasing boy after boy, ball after ball. I was 13, and it was my ability to run, paired with unrestrained aggression, that had earned me a spot on the team. But on that day — during a tournament in upstate New York — I wasn’t used solely as the boy to run and get the ball. On that day, I set plays, I did my best to make sure we did more attacking than defending, I slaved out there in the hot sun…


Inside one of the most stubbornly dangerous sports in the world

A cowboy is made in eight seconds. That’s how long you have to stay on a bull for it to count as a “ride.” Any less than that is a failure. On the best rides, eight seconds doesn’t feel like long enough; on the worst, it’s an eternity. But to get to that feeling, that adrenaline rush of power and success and terror, you first have to make it out of the gates, and Koal Livingston didn’t.

It was an overcast September evening in Fairfax, Virginia, the 22nd stop of the Professional Bull Rider’s (PBR) annual world tour. The world’s…


What matters now. A publication from Medium about politics, power, and culture.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store