The New New

The Future of Infidelity Is Female

Due to shifting social norms and economic leaps, women are now as likely as men to have affairs

Alyssa Giacobbe
GEN
Published in
8 min readNov 1, 2018

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Illustration: Nicole Ginelli

UUnlike most everything else she did in her life, Amanda, a 41-year-old executive at a Boston-area creative agency, began her affair without much thought. It was just drinks with an old friend. When drinks turned to dinner, and dinner turned to sleepovers four months in, she didn’t stop it. It wasn’t weakness at play, she thought, but something else.

“As awful as it was to my family, and I knew it was awful, I couldn’t resist the draw,” Amanda, whose name we have changed to protect her privacy, says today. She had a thriving career (and salary to match), plenty of friends and interests, a devoted husband, a beautiful home by the beach. And yet what she liked most, she says, besides the great sex, was the ability to be someone else for a while.

Once assumed to be the purview of powerful men — a notion #MeToo has done little to debunk — adultery has become something of an equal opportunity endeavor. Several studies, including research in progress at the University of Kentucky’s Sexual Health Promotion Lab, has found that women are now cheating at nearly the same rate as men, according to director Kristen Mark, PhD. Numbers from the…

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Alyssa Giacobbe
GEN
Writer for

Writer: Architectural Digest, Entrepreneur, Women’s Health, the Boston Globe, among others. alyssagiacobbe.com