Prison Stories

The Toilet Tissue Church

How a prized prison commodity turned ritualistic for a group of women believers

Linda Lee Smith Barkman, PhD
GEN
Published in
5 min readJan 16, 2019

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Credit: Catalina Bessell/Moment/Getty

WWhen new prison ministry volunteers and inmate worshippers attend services at the California Institution for Women (CIW), they are invariably surprised as the inmate ushers hand them a neatly folded rectangle of toilet tissue as they walk in the door.

“Why are you handing me toilet tissue?” they ask.

“Because we don’t have Kleenex in prison,” the ushers respond.

“But why do I need this in church?” they question, still puzzled by the unusual gift.

“Because when you are touched by the Holy Spirit and start to cry, you will need it.”

Serving time in prison robs you of many freedoms. But chief among them is the ability to cry. Women who cry too easily or too often in prison mark themselves as potential victims. Even in situations where a woman prisoner opts to cry among friends, any comforting hugs can be viewed as illicit sexual behavior, resulting in disciplinary action. So it is often better not to cry at all.

But church is a different scenario. In prison, church is considered a safe place, a place of sanctuary. No one would dare judge a woman for crying in church, in…

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Linda Lee Smith Barkman, PhD
GEN
Writer for

served 30 years in a California prison, advocates for marginalized women, and her book “Hidden Power and False Expectations” is coming soon from Urban Loft Pub.