The Washington Commanders are the Most Dangerous Team in Sports

Because of their new name

I downloaded an app to make this.

Despite all of our desires, when the Washington Redskins finally decided to change its name it did not go with The Washington Jerks. Instead, the owner spent two years searching for the perfect moniker. During that time, they played as the Washington Football Team. No brand has gone that generic since Repo Man. They could have at least been the Washington Kirkland Brand Football Team.

They are now The Washington Commanders, putting the “Washington Football Team” gear on sale for about 30 percent off, which does not seem like nearly enough.

Naming a badass football team, or even Washington’s football team, after the military seems normal. But it’s unprecedented. Of the 32 NFL teams, 14 are named after animals, four after local occupations, three after marauding invaders, two after large mythological creatures, one after a jazz song, one after the team stadium’s proximity to the airport, one after a former coach, and one after an old West entertainer who had no connection to Buffalo but had the nickname “Buffalo.” One team name is just what you call people who live in that state, one is the “Chargers,” one is the “Patriots,” and one will soon undoubtedly be the Kansas City Football Team.