Pandering to the Youth Vote Has Gotten Embarrassing
Don’t ask us to be ‘horny for tha polls.’ The world is literally burning.
My brother has been quarantined for eight days in a hotel on the University of Virginia’s campus after someone in his freshman dorm tested positive for Covid-19. Last week he texted me asking how to get an absentee ballot from our home state of Missouri — it’s the first election he’s eligible to vote in, and the government website is painfully convoluted. I sent him the PDF ballot request, thinking how absolutely psychotic my brother’s life is now: In his second week of college, he’s taking virtual chemistry lab in a sterilized hotel, and being chastised by administrators for acting irresponsibly after he was told to come to campus. The university is too much of a shitshow to facilitate his rights, yet the kid still wants to vote.
That night I logged into Animal Crossing, hoping to tap out of this hellscape for an hour and sell my turnips. It turns out you can’t escape ever these days because standing before me was an avatar Joe Biden, smiling and waving and selling… virtual yard signs.
