Jessica Valenti

There Is No War on Men—But Maybe There Should Be

It’s women’s lives that are getting ruined

Photo: Arturo Latierro/Getty

Conservatives are awfully worried about the war on men. To hear them tell it, there’s an angry mob of feminists eager to ruin men’s lives for the sole reason of — in fact, they never quite say. But the boys of America should watch out. Parents should arm their prodigal sons with body cameras and consent forms. Their livelihoods depend on it.

Here’s the sad truth: if feminists were actually waging a war on the men who do very bad things, the facts suggest we’d be losing miserably. Men accused of sexual wrongdoing reside in both the White House and the highest court in the land. Of the dozens of high-profile abusive men outed by #MeToo over the last year, only a handful have faced real consequences — which is to say, they’ve lost their jobs — and only one has gone to jail.

National statistics trend in step: rapists rarely go to jail, and men who harass women rarely face censure. So it begs the question: Why all the bluster over how accusations are ruining innocent lives?

Male rage has been on full display these last few weeks.

Conservative men know that their safety, their personal lives, and their livelihoods aren’t in danger — not really. But their power is. Their power fades, albeit slowly, with every protest, every new voter registration, and every time a woman comes forward to say she’s been hurt by one of them. And since many of these men believe that their power is an inalienable right, the threat of losing it can feel like annihilation.

That’s why so many powerful, white, conservative men are now adopting the language of victimization, fueling the backlash against feminist progress. Lindsey Graham said, “I’m a single white male from South Carolina, and I’m told that I should just shut up.” President Donald Trump’s said the sexual assault survivors protesting Judge Brett Kavanaugh were paid activists attacking a good man. These men, so accustomed to getting their way without protest, truly believe men are being wronged. And they want the rest of America to feel the same way. A few years ago, an anti-rape activist described it to me like this: If you’ve…