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Tips and Tricks for Having a Perfectly Lovely Boat Parade
Published in
Sep 9, 2020
DO watch your speed. 5 miles an hour is ideal. Any more and your wake will overwhelm your fellow boaters.
DO spread out. Leave room for Jesus between the boats.
DO avoid congregating in a narrow channel where you wait for 4 parachute jumpers to do their awesome thing.
DON’T line up and motor together. It looks cool, but the wake will interfere with your neighbor and possibly sink them.
DON’T splash your fellow boaters with your wake. Rude and un-MAGA like!
DO call the Lake Patrol when you do sink a fellow boat with a righteous American wave. It’s the neighborly thing to do.
Now get out there, you beautiful boaters! And have a safe and lovely boat parade.
