Illustrations: Reina Takahashi

What 4 Years of Dining With Trump Supporters Taught Me About Polarization

Our conversations could be frustrating, but they also gave me hope. Was I a fool to think we were getting somewhere?

Philippa Hughes
GEN
Published in
14 min readJan 21, 2021

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Three days after the 2016 election, I posted an invitation on Facebook. I was looking for Donald Trump voters who wanted to come over for dinner at my house, which is just a short walk from the White House in Washington, D.C. I wanted to understand why over 62 million people voted for someone who I thought was wholly unqualified for the job and entirely lacked the moral character befitting the office. I wanted to ask my own questions without the filter of media or political punditry.

No one accepted my dinner invitation at first. Even though only 4% of D.C. residents voted for Trump, and I ran in liberal circles, I was still surprised when no one responded. I thought at least one of the many conservative folks who’d argued with me on my social media channels during the 2016 campaign might have said yes. Eventually, I found three Trump voters through a liberal friend who’d seen my Facebook invitation and connected me to a woman she used to work with who she thought might have voted for Trump. And because everyone hangs out with people like themselves, this woman connected me with two more Trump voters. At…

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Philippa Hughes
GEN
Writer for

Creating space for conversations to transform society. Exploring what it means to be American. Recovering lawyer, public speaker, art fanatic philippahughes.com