When Jeffrey Epstein Is Your Name-esis
The Jeffrey Epsteins of the world are done with explaining: I’m not that Jeffrey Epstein
“When you besmirch your own name, you besmirch the names of all who share’t.”
— A guy who was also named Judas, circa 33 A.D.
If you’ve ever Googled yourself, you probably know some details about your name-esis. I keep pretty close tabs on mine. She’s the frontwoman of a cool band in Austin. I bear a passing resemblance to her — enough that when I set a picture of her as my Facebook photo, most of my acquaintances thought it was me. (My heart hardened forever toward one woman who commented, “That’s such a great pic of you! Love it!”) This other Lauren Larson has bested me in many areas: She has a baby and fantastic bangs, she’s better at music, and she’s thinner than I am. If we’d gone to high school together, I imagine she would have been the kind of popular girl who is so nice you can’t even resent her for her popularity. She’s a good name-esis: I have spent the past decade trying to earn enough recognition to knock her down a peg in our Google search results. She has brought honor on us all, and I hope to do the same.
Dr. Jeffrey S. Epstein, a hair transplant specialist and facial plastic surgeon in Florida, was not so blessed. His name-esis has brought…
