LOVE/HATE

When Two Partners Have Very Different Feelings About Tech

A relationship between a Luddite and an early adopter can come with unique problems

Kate Willsky
GEN
Published in
6 min readDec 6, 2018

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Credit: Gautam Jain/EyeEm/Getty

SShortly after I began dating the man who would become my husband, I left my flip phone in the back seat of a cab. The next day, my iPod broke. This was in 2011, a time when it felt natural to get music from one device and texts from another, so I planned on replacing both. But my boyfriend was having none of it: It’s time to get an iPhone, he said. Though I’d resisted the device for years (who needed all those features?), his argument made sense, and I agreed. Little did I know that this was the first of many times that my indifference to technology would be challenged by his need to have — and have everyone in his life have — all the newest gadgets.

We’ve now been together eight years, and not much has changed. In fact, when I told him I was writing a story about differing attitudes toward tech in relationships, his first reaction was to suggest that I put the payment for this piece toward a new iPhone.

I don’t want a new phone, but that’s beside the point. The point is that the disparity between how partners view tech is an increasingly common element of relationships, and it can create a landscape that’s sometimes…

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GEN
GEN

Published in GEN

A former publication from Medium about politics, power, and culture. Currently inactive and not taking submissions.

Kate Willsky
Kate Willsky

Written by Kate Willsky

Brooklyn-based writer and apple enthusiast (the fruit, not the tech company). My writing has appeared on Eater, Vice, Food52, Liquor.com, Self, and elsewhere.