Why I’m Giving up Self-Care for Community Care
Taking care of others is the best way to take care of ourselves right now
When the coronavirus lockdown began in March, I was inundated with messages about self-care. In emails, Instagram stories, and on Twitter, influencers and marketers were telling us all to try a face mask, a hair mask, to drink a glass of wine, or use this time to learn a new skill. I tried it all. I stayed in my apartment and patted on beauty products. I took long showers and deep conditioned my hair. And I bought a guitar online and tried to learn to play it. The guitar-playing may have helped. The rest, frankly, did nothing. I didn’t feel any happier or safer or less concerned about the meltdown of our world — although for a few days my skin glowed and my hair was extra-glossy.
Gradually, I started to turn away from self-care and toward something I call community care. Last Sunday, I took the money I would have spent on going out to dinner (in a normal world) or another beauty product and purchased flowers from the buckets on display outside my local market in Brooklyn. I bundled the fragrant just-in-season blooms — lilacs, deep magenta tulips, dusty Echinops, and silvery brunia — into small arrangements and left them on the doorsteps of friends and neighbors. Then, I texted them to check their doorsteps for a…
