Column

Why Men Won’t Apologize

They feel entitled to forgiveness in the same way they feel entitled to say and do awful things to women

Jessica Valenti
GEN
Published in
4 min readJul 23, 2020

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Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Photo: Scott Heins/Getty Images

What is it about powerful men and apologies? Were they out sick that day in kindergarten, or do they really believe that making amends for bad behavior is simply beneath them? Don’t bother responding — we all know the answer.

This week, two men gave master classes in how not to apologize. After Florida Rep. Ted Yoho called Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez a “fucking bitch” in earshot of a reporter, the congressman took to the House floor to address his comments. His mea culpa? Denying that he ever used “the offensive name-calling words attributed to me by the press” and apologizing for “their misunderstanding.” And while Rep. Yoho admitted to having an “abrupt manner” of speaking, he insisted he “cannot apologize for my passion.

The same day that Rep. Yoho did this rhetorical dance, another powerful man was choreographing his own. Troy Young, president of Hearst Magazines, responded

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Jessica Valenti
GEN
Writer for

Feminist author & columnist. Native NYer, pasta enthusiast.