You Must Be Drunk if You Think I’m Sticking to Dry January

Sobriety after an attempted coup is just too much to ask

Photo: Grace Cary/Getty Images

I started my day crying tears of joy to my therapist about Democrats taking over the Senate and ended it watching a coup attempt in real time. As my heart raced and cortisol shot through my veins, the only thing I could think of was, “Damn, I need a drink.”