Column
The Forgotten Skill Democrats Need to Beat Trump
Bernie Sanders, Amy Klobuchar, and Elizabeth Warren have mastered the art of getting our attention on TV
You know who lost the debate last night? I did. Me. You know why? Because I didn’t watch it. I had my usual reasons. For one thing, this was the NINTH installment of one of these royal circle jerks. Make it 11 if you account for the fact that the first two were split over the course of two nights, like the midseason finale of Chicago Dump. For another, I knew all these candidates well enough by now. Biden was the confused old man. Bernie was the angry old man. Warren was the valedictorian. Klobuchar was the Republican. Mayor Pete was the efficiency expert sent in from corporate.
The only new face onstage last night (and buddy, do I ever mean “new” figuratively here) was Mike Bloomberg, and I had already seen enough of Bloomy to last me through the afterlife. I lived in New York when he was mayor. Also, he’s spent so much goddamn money lately that I can’t walk by a nearby mailbox without seeing an ad for him papered over it. I knew who all these people were, and I knew where they stood. I didn’t NEED this debate. In fact, I was gonna launch into a whole spiel on this very website about how Debates Are Worthless. My reasoning was…
