Column
President Trump’s Favorite Kinds of Voters, Ranked
A lot of people don’t know this, but there are exactly 38 kinds
Published in
2 min readAug 31, 2020
- Abusive parents
- Plastic surgeons who get three stars or less on Yelp
- Men livestreaming from the driver’s seat
- Evangelicals no longer interested in pretending
- Boaters operating their boats without any official license or instruction
- “Khaki dads”
- Tiger Kings
- Washed-up comedians
- Toppled statues
- Cops who learned all their best practices from watching Bad Lieutenant
- Fifteen-year-olds who kill stray dogs for fun
- Palm Beach but not West Palm Beach
- The law-abiding citizens of Rock Ridge
- Nielsen households
- Rural coke fiends
- “Let me get this straight” Twitter
- Formerly prominent actors who can no longer find work
- Suburbanites who think The Truman Show had a sad ending
- Golfers but not caddies
- Self-described “racialists”
