Column
Some of You Naughty Scamps Are Breaking Quarantine
Nope, still not okay to slip over to your friends’ place for a barbecue and a few drinks, no matter how gorgeous the weather is
I see you people. I see you sneaking out of quarantine like a teenager breaking out of the bedroom window to go to a party at the moon tower. Word gets around, you know. I got a friend of a friend who threw a dinner party with multiple couples. I got another friend of another friend who’s sleeping around with multiple women he doesn’t live with, right now. I am routinely sympathetic to the eternally horny, but still. One guy I know had a neighbor throw a fucking party the other night. Another couple threw their kid a birthday party, with guests. Everybody either knows someone who’s bailing on quarantine or they ARE that someone.
I’m not talking about stubborn boomers here. And I’m not talking about all the MAGA clods staging LIBERATE rallies and holding each other by the genitals in a show of defiance against BIG GUBMINT. Those people were ALWAYS gonna be fucking hopeless. I’m not even talking about NYC parkgoers who are getting wrongly called out online for having the gall to go outside while, by all appearances, keeping to their own. No no no, I’m talking about the silent number of you…
