Column

The Following Things Should Be Virtual Forever

The Democratic National Convention is just one example of things better experienced at a remove

Senator Kamala Harris speaks via Zoom during a Women for Biden event on May 21, 2020. Photo: The Washington Post/Getty Images

There’s no actual Democratic National Convention taking place this week and I couldn’t be happier. To prevent the spread of Covid-19, Democrats and (shockingly) Republicans have decided to stage the bulk of their respective conventions virtually. I promise you that, even when you include The 2020 Factor, this will be the best summer of conventions you ever have to endure. No endless clapping every time a speaker pauses to take a breath. No toothy delegates in boater hats who look like they stepped off of a dollar bill. No Republicans singing in unison… SHUDDER… to “Sweet Caroline.” We’re free from all that dime-store pageantry this year.

We should be free from it EVERY election year, in fact. To that end, I have devised a list of things that should be virtual from here on out. This is the year we discovered what is truly ESSENTIAL in America (Restaurants and restaurant workers! Delivery workers! Nurses! The mail!) and what is not (The police!). So consider this a definitive list of what can be jettisoned once we all see each other on the other side of the virus.

• Political conventions. A major party hasn’t held a brokered…