The National Pastime Is a National Disgrace
As it bumbles its way toward what looks like an even shorter season than it planned, MLB itself is leading the league in errors
I think Major League Baseball saw all this coming; they just didn’t give a shit. Baseball returned last week to empty stadiums all across the country, and even before the first pitch was thrown, MLB had fucked everything up. Nationals superstar Juan Soto tested positive for the coronavirus (he has yet to purge it from his system and has reportedly been very testy about the inconvenience). But MLB let the Nats, who had practiced with Soto, play that same night anyway. And I watched it, because I’m a terrible person.
That was mere prelude. Yesterday, it turned out that at least 18 (!!!!!!!) members of the Miami Marlins have also tested positive for the disease. That’s more than half the roster. Three of those Marlins knew about their results as far back as Sunday when the team was on the road to Philadelphia. The Marlins played the Phillies that Sunday after leaving the decision not to commissioner Rob Manfred or to a doctor but to their fucking captain, who himself would turn up Covid-19-positive a day later. Normally when I call the Marlins a scourge, I don’t mean it literally. But here we are.
The Nationals, in prime pot-kettle-black mode, themselves voted to not play the Marlins last night. It was then, and only then, when MLB finally acted and postponed all of the Marlins’ games… until Sunday. We are all now pandemic veterans, so we know the basic protocols, do we not? Wear a mask. Wash your hands for 20 seconds. Avoid large gatherings, especially inside. Oh, and if you and 17 of your buddies test positive, stay home for at least two weeks. The Marlins have been put on hiatus for a mere six days. The fuck is that gonna accomplish? It’s a lethal disease. You can’t purge it from your team by taking a long weekend.
Baseball, like America, believes its inherent specialness makes it exempt from the rules, even the ones governing human biology.
Back in March, the entire NBA shut down when two players tested positive for…