Column
Trump Doesn’t Care If You Catch Coronavirus
Now that the virus is here in Trump’s America, it can enjoy the freedom it so dearly craves
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Donald Trump has spent so much time making Americans sick to their stomachs that it was only inevitable he would manage to make them sick everywhere else. Coronavirus has washed ashore here in America, and potentially 40% to 70% of us could get it in some form. This is because the virus has a strong ground game, and also because Trump gutted the country’s pandemic response team, leaving us without what amounts to a bureaucratic immune system. We can’t stop the coronavirus because there’s no one in charge who can stop it, or even wants to. Instead, the president and his fuckhead cohorts have used the outbreak as yet another occasion to openly wonder if everyone is being nice enough to them.
You are about to experience firsthand, through a seizure of feverish chills and terrifying shortness of breath, what it’s like to not have a government. Because as it stands now, we don’t have one. Whatever governmental departments we do have operating currently have been reoriented so that they do the precise opposite of their intended purpose (see: the EPA). Everywhere else, you are living in the libertarian wet dream of an America where everyone is on their own and no one is coming to help you. If you die from this virus, if MILLIONS of Americans die from this virus, President Trump won’t give half a fuck. The GOP won’t give a fuck either. This is true even if useful altar boy Mike Pence contracts the disease. If Pence gets sick, Republicans will lavish him with all the loving attention Nancy Grace bestows upon any white girl who goes missing in the tropics. But they still won’t give a fuck about the other casualties. To them, that’s just 3 million fewer mouths to feed. Why, with any luck, the virus might wipe out enough Californians to turn the state red! And wouldn’t that be a delight.
If Pence gets sick, Republicans will lavish him with…
