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The Hater’s Guide to Pete Buttigieg
Buttigieg would be our first openly gay president. Amazing progress! But does it have to be THIS guy?
Some people are supporters of Pete Buttigieg. But many, many more people are NOT supporters of Pete Buttigieg. This 2020 GEN magazine hater’s guide, the fourth in an already famed and illustrious series, is for those in the latter group.
Your candidate
Pete!™
His résumé
I actually wrote this hater’s guide months ago, but that guide proved woefully incomplete because Buttigieg, like the Republican sleeper agent he so clearly is, has managed to do a new shitty thing virtually every day since then. It’s been both incredible and horrifying to witness in real time. I’m gonna go ahead and bullet point this section like you’re reading Axios, because Mayor Pete was surely formed in a lab jointly funded by Axios and the Brookings Institution. Let’s run it down…
- He did the “please clap” thing.
- He somehow fucked up paying tribute to Kobe Bryant the day Kobe died.
Even Trump didn’t fuck up his Kobe remembrance this egregiously. Very bad!
- He failed to get one of the New York Times’ 18 co-endorsements.
- Americans found out that he fired South Bend’s first black police chief eight years ago for the sin of… overhearing her fellow officers being racist on the phone.
- His team canceled a fundraiser at a gay club because it had a dancing pole.
- He introduced a health care plan that BILLS you thousands of dollars every year if you don’t happen to want his Medicare For Those Who Want It plan.
- He ran an ad attacking Medicare for All as “polarizing.” Oh no! All my mom’s cancer treatments have been taken care of! What if her surviving makes people mad?!
- His team deliberately…
